Have you been divorced? (mystic, hell, church, marriage, Christian)

[Bishka]

Have you ever been divorced? Why were some of the reason that you got divorced? If you could go back and do it again, would you want to stay married to that person or would you still get divorced?

[Buttercup]

Originally Posted by beckysoup61

Have you ever been divorced? Why were some of the reason that you got divorced?

Looking back, which is often a 20/20 hindsight view, I can see that I was waaaay too young to know what I wanted or needed in a lifelong mate at that point. I married simply because I wanted to get married. I know that sounds incredibly dumb, but it's what I did. I talked myself into thinking I loved him enough or that I would grow to love him enough to spend the rest of my life with him. I knew after one month I made a mistake. But, I got pregnant the first month of marriage and tried to make it work for 10 years, mostly because of religious reasons. I wouldn't say the entire decade was horrible, but it definitely was a hard, hard time for the most part.

If you could go back and do it again, would you want to stay married to that person or would you still get divorced?

I just couldn't do it. I couldn't stay married to him. Even when I see him now all these years later sometimes I look at him and say to myself..."how did I do it?". Not because of any physical reason, but just because we are soooo different personality wise.

I tried to make it as easy as I could for the kids and I never, ever say anything bad about him to them...It's worked out pretty well although I wouldn't call us friends but, we're polite and amiable to each other. In fact, he lives one block away. The kids go between our houses in their slippers sometimes. I grew up without a dad and I was extremely determined for my kids to have all the access they wanted or needed with their father.

Divorce is tough for sure. But, it doesn't have to be the end of the world either. I think my kids turned out pretty well overall.

[Draka]

Originally Posted by beckysoup61

Have you ever been divorced?

yep, twice.

Why were some of the reason that you got divorced?

abuse(all kinds), belittling, insults, random affair accusations, threats of violence, etc.

If you could go back and do it again, would you want to stay married to that person or would you still get divorced?

hell no, not with either! besides, I'm happier now than I've ever been with turk. I'd be insane to give this up for the psychos I was with.

[MysticSang'ha]

Originally Posted by beckysoup61

Have you ever been divorced?

Yes.

Originally Posted by Becky

Why were some of the reason that you got divorced?

I needed protection and distance from my ex-husband at the time, who was suffering from alcoholism and drug abuse, and unfortunately a temper that was never put in check. I stayed for four years because I naively thought that I could influence him to change. *slaps self on forehead again*

Originally Posted by Becky

If you could go back and do it again, would you want to stay married to that person or would you still get divorced?

If I could go back, I'd probably try a professional intervention with his family and a counselor. I didn't do that in our marriage......I just dropped the ultimatum on him like a bomb. The last straw for me was his reaction to the ultimatum - he threw the phone out into the street and tried to convince me that I "had no way out now." I knew he was blinded and beyond reach at that point, so I had to protect myself and my kids. That was when I snuck the kids out and phoned my mother from a neighbor's house. Other than the intervention idea of what I would have done differently, I would still divorce him if continued being so severely self-destructive.


Three years later, he started going to AA after finding himself homeless and completely alone. He now is a very decent man and a great father to the kids, and he even earned a Bachelor's Degree in education, and has continued to become a Special Education teacher because of our son. He also married perhaps the most fantastic and loving stepmother that my kids could ever ask for.



Peace,
Mystic

[Radio Frequency X]

Originally Posted by beckysoup61

Have you ever been divorced? Why were some of the reason that you got divorced? If you could go back and do it again, would you want to stay married to that person or would you still get divorced?

I have been divorced. My exwife left me because we had different values, I wasn't Christian enough for her, and I didn't enjoy her church or friends. Now that I'm remarried to a woman who makes me truly happy, looking back, I'm glad she left.

[mostly harmless]

I was in an abusive marraige..if I could do it again I would leave as soon as I found out I was pregnant.

[RevOxley_501]

<just married and believe in avoiding divorce as much as humanly possible---mostly by not marrying until you are ready and very sure.

[angellous_evangellous]

Happily married here, never divorced.