Pushing buttons (experience)

[tcprowling]

Have you ever pushed your partner's buttons or played on their sensitivities just to get a rise or watch them Squirm a little? and then turned it around so that it is they ( your partner who is at fault)? What about the other side of the coin have you ever been a victim of such a ploy/ How did you react?

[jacquie4000]

lol......My ex-husband made this his life goal...

[Booko]

Originally Posted by tcprowling

Have you ever pushed your partner's buttons or played on their sensitivities just to get a rise or watch them Squirm a little? and then turned it around so that it is they ( your partner who is at fault)?

Uh...no.

What about the other side of the coin have you ever been a victim of such a ploy/ How did you react?

Yup. A few times. Those relationships ended immediately, with and explanation, but no second chance.

Some things I will not put up with from those closest to me, and this is one of them.

I'll put up with it from strangers and acquaintances, but then you shouldn't expect to become my best buddy afterwards either, because that won't be happening.

[Booko]

Originally Posted by jacquie4000

lol......My ex-husband made this his life goal...

Oh Jacquie! This explains exactly why I won't put up with it! It's *extremely* destructive to relationships to do this stuff. You need (and expect!) trust and support from partners and closest friends and not to sit their wondering when they're going to kick you in the arse, emotionally speaking.

[jacquie4000]

I was a fool and put up with mine for seven years before I sent him packing. I kept saying I can make this work...

[jacquie4000]

Oh Jacquie! This explains exactly why I won't put up with it! It's *extremely* destructive to relationships to do this stuff. You need (and expect!) trust and support from partners and closest friends and not to sit their wondering when they're going to kick you in the arse, emotionally speaking.

It took me many years to find my way back to who I used to be believe me.

[tcprowling]

For me it's a no- no. I don't play it. I feel that it is control and I agree with the comments in the previous posts.
But throught out my childhood, my teens and My work and army career also through some relationships I have experienced or been a victim of it. In my childhood I couldn't do much about it and since my teens and into my adult years were befuddled by my drinking I was an open door to have my buttons pushed. The army was famous for it's bastardisation ( Yes button pushing was a part of that). Now since giving up the grog I have become more hardened against this form of abuse/ control.
I am not a violent person and I will put up with a lot and there are those who will still try the game, and I'll play along for a while til the Line is reached. Yes I will play the victim but I don't think I even know where the line is drawn but once it has been crossed I can play really nasty. I will seize on any weakness of my tormenter and exploit it to it's fullest and I don't care what the consequences are for anybody myself included I will not resort to physical violence more emotional. It is then that my tormentor needs to ask themself Is he playing or is he fair dickum. If they wish to go on with their button pushing they do so at their own risk because I push back a lot, a whole lot harder then they can ever imagine

[Booko]

Originally Posted by jacquie4000

I was a fool and put up with mine for seven years before I sent him packing. I kept saying I can make this work...

I sometimes wonder if women have some genetic tendency that makes us think we can fix people.

I've been tempted that way before, with a couple of early beaux, but being the impatient person I am, I gave up on that sort of thing pretty early on.

When it comes to relationships, there is at least a little something to be said for not suffering fools gladly.