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  #1  
Old 07-29-2006, 10:57 PM
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Default Alcohol warning
WARNING TO LADIES: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,smarter, faster and better-looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.


Last edited by tcprowling; 07-29-2006 at 11:02 PM.
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  #2  
Old 07-29-2006, 11:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tcprowling
WARNING TO LADIES: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,smarter, faster and better-looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alchohol may cause you to believe you are a fascinating conversationalist.
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Last edited by Katzpur; 07-29-2006 at 11:12 PM.
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  #3  
Old 07-29-2006, 11:10 PM
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I've read this before, but the version I've seen is longer. Here it is:

Alcohol Warning Labels
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed on all containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your *** kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to rollover in the morning and see something really scary.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
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  #4  
Old 07-29-2006, 11:13 PM
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And for the record, even when sober, I'm naturally, tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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  #5  
Old 07-29-2006, 11:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tcprowling
WARNING TO LADIES: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,smarter, faster and better-looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol if there is any possibility of your being pregnant is unsafe for any child you may be carrying though you don't yet know you're pregnant.

Ummm, ...didn't mean to be such a downer.
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  #6  
Old 07-29-2006, 11:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Booko
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol if there is any possibility of your being pregnant is unsafe for any child you may be carrying though you don't yet know you're pregnant.

Ummm, ...didn't mean to be such a downer.
It may even have been an indirect cause of you being pregnanT
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  #7  
Old 07-29-2006, 11:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tcprowling
It may even have been an indirect cause of you being pregnanT
Hehheh, no actually in my case, not.

Besides, I never required any chemical assistance beyond the naturally occuring hormones.
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  #8  
Old 07-30-2006, 12:13 AM
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Well, you can't have beer goggles without the beer.

When I was a freshman @ GA Tech, my roomate showed up very drunk with a young lady in tow. He asked me to hang out in the study lounge so they could have some 'privacy'. About 10 minutes later, he asked me to drive them to her apartment. The next time I saw him, 2 days later, the first thing he said was "How ugly was that girl?"

Don't drink and park because accidents cause people.

Anyway...thanks for the tips.
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