Raising Boys (Earth, pray)

[Buttercup]

Raising Boys - 24 key points to ponder.

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas.

Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):


1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.


2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.


3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.


4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.


5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.


6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.


7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late


8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.


9 A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.


10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.


12. Super glue is forever.


13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.


15. VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.


16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.


17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.


18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.


19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.


20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.


21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.


22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.


23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.


24. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

[kreeden]

80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

I'm think about it ....

[Victor]

Taking notes. I have 2 boys....

[Circle_One]

Let me read through the list again and I will post the ones I can personally attest to, (I have a 7 year old boy and my cousin has an 8 year old boy). One minute please...

[Circle_One]

3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. (Though it was a Darth Vadar costume, with Justyce).
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times befor! e you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy. (as will other small toys).
12. Super glue is forever. (My DVD player has never been the same)
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. (I know this from when I was a child with two older brothers. We used to have a cat called Nike, and.. to put it lightly, the two boys invented a game called the "Nike Spin". I'll spare you the details.)

[Bishka]

Haha. That's funny.

[Buttercup]

Originally Posted by Circle_One

3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. (Though it was a Darth Vadar costume, with Justyce).
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times befor! e you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy. (as will other small toys).
12. Super glue is forever. (My DVD player has never been the same)
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. (I know this from when I was a child with two older brothers. We used to have a cat called Nike, and.. to put it lightly, the two boys invented a game called the "Nike Spin". I'll spare you the details.)

No wonder you enjoy your tattooing sessions so much......you're getting a break. I think you need some frubals..and then a beer!

[dawny0826]

Those are adorable. If we are blessed to have #3 in the future...my husband's hoping we'll have a boy.

Maybe these will apply to us someday...

We can personally attest to #7 and #18.