Broken ankle (priest, pray, nuns, heaven, prayer)

[maggie2]

Fell down stairs today and broke my left ankle. No surgery needed. Laid up for a bit. Anyone got any good jokes to cheer me up? Thank heaven for the Internet and good books. Will probably be off my feet for a week or so and then crutches.

[ChrisP]

I got plenty of cool links to videos if you're into that... plus lots of esoteric reading online

[jeffrey]

A Priest and 3 nuns were playing golf. On the 3rd hole, the priest missed a 2 foot put. He shouted "dammit, I missed!" The nuns looked at the priest and said "Father! Please watch your mouth or something bad will happen!" So, on the 10th hole, the priest missed a 1 foot putt. Once again he shouted "Dammit, I missed!" and again, the nuns warned him of possible danger.... continued..

[jeffrey]

So.... on the 18th hole, the priest missed a 6 inch putt. He shouted again, "dammit, I missed!"... The sky clouded up, a bolt lightening shot to the ground.... hitting one of the nuns and killing her... you hear a voice from above shout, "DAMMIT, I MISSED!"

[Evenstar]

Awww Maggie, im sorry to hear this... no jokes, im afraid.

BUT lots of love and hugs coming your way .

[dawny0826]

So sorry about your ankle. Hope you're feeling better. I'll keep you in my prayers.

[michel]

So sorry; Ihope you recover soon and well. I haven't got any jokes, but I have my crutches, if you're up to a race........

[jeffrey]

Originally Posted by michel

So sorry; Ihope you recover soon and well. I haven't got any jokes, but I have my crutches, if you're up to a race........

That's an unfair advantage! She just got her crutches. Give her a week or two to practice!

[Jayhawker Soule]

A blonde walks into a doctor's office and tells the doctor she's broken every single bone in her body. "That's impossible!" says the doctor.

The blonde says, "No, it's really true. Look!" She then touches her leg with her index finger and screams "Ouch!" Then she touches her arm and yells "Eeeeoooow!" Finally she touches her ribs and can barely maintain her composure as the tears start to roll down her face. She says, "See, I told you I broke every bone in my body."

The doctor rubs his chin, then conducts a thorough examination. "Well, miss," he tells her, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, you haven't broken every bone in your body. The bad news is, you've broken your finger."

I hope you feel better.

[BUDDY]

I hope that you heal quickly and get back on your feet sooner than expected. Until then, here is a jokes for you. I hope that you enjoy.

Logic (Imagine all dialog in scottish accent)

Scott and Robert were once again spending there evening in the pub, drinking Guiness and talking about what they would like to do one day. Scott says finally, "You know, we've been talking and wasting time int his pub long enough. I think I should do something with my life. I should get an education."

Robert replies, "Well now, that is a good idea. You should go down to the Technical College and try to learn a trade or skill of some sort."

So, the next day Scott walks down to the Technical College and registers for classes. But, by this time the semester has already started and all the classes are full. The only class left is Logic. Scott asks the registrar, "Logic.....what is that then?" The registrar calls the professor in to explain.

The professor explains."Logic is basically the ability to deduce certain truths from evidence."

Scott replies, "Like how, I do na understand."

The professor explains, "Okay, I will use an example. Do you own a weedeater?"

Scott replies, "Aye, that I doo."

The professor replies, "Well then, I would logically deduce that you probably have a yard or garden."

Scott says, "my goodness that is amazing. I do own a garden."

The professor continues, "well, if you own a garden, then I would continue to use logic, to surmise that you live in a house. An apartment would not have a garden, so you must own or live in a home with enough outside space for a garden."

Scott says, "this is amazing. Yes, yes, I live in a house."

The professor continues, "well, if you live in a house, then you probably don't live by yourself, because that would normally be too much space for just one person. Also, I would conclude that you probably have a wife, and perhaps even children."

Scott says, "My God, this is absolutely fantastic!! Yes, I have a wife and a child, too!!!"

The professor concludes, "well, if you own a house, have a wife and a child, then logically I would deduce that you are therefore heterosexual. That my friend is an example of using simple logic."

Scott r