This gave me a good chuckle!!! (beliefs, soul, hell, heaven)

twirlybirdy · #1 12-06-2006, 05:14 PM

> The following is an actual question given on a University of
> Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
> "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
> Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
>
> Here is the professor's "Bonus Question":
> Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
>
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
> (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
> variant.
>
> One student, however, wrote the following:
>
> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
> need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
> at which they are leaving.
> I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it
> will not leave.
>
> Therefore, no souls are leaving.
> As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
> Religions that exist in the world today.
>
> Most of these religions state
> that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
>
> Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do
> not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go
> to Hell.
>
> With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
> souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
>
> Now, we look at the rate of
> change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order
> for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume
> of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
>
> This gives two possibilities:
>
> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
> enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure
> in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
>
> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
> Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
> until Hell freezes over.
>
> So which is it?
>
> If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
> year that,
>
> "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you",
>
> and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then
> number 2 must be true,
> and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
> over.
>
> The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
> follows that it is not accepting
>
> any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven . . .
>
> thereby proving the existence of a divine being . . . which explains
> why, last night,
>
> Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
>
> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"