Utterly Confused on My Behalf

[Demmiah]

Hi. I'm new here and needed advice from others badly.

Quick info: I'm a "retired" 32 year old bartender... loved the night life. Loved it. Women everywhere, my goodness. Musician who has played the stage and enjoyed the limelight. Great stuff. However, I have since brought the music inside my apartment and the bar life, well, it's no more.

I come from a rather religious family. I was raised in church and at the age of 10, when standing in front of the congregation at church to get saved(but only to get the attention of the little girls), the preacher(my grandfather) along with several other members laid their hands on my head, my arms reached towards the ceiling (because that's what everyone else was doing). They said, "close your eyes and pray with us." So I did. And I closed my eyes and started repeating the words and then I broke from that and started praying my own prayer (for my childhood was a difficult one and one that is best kept to myself).

Once I did, this overwhelming force hit me so hard, I felt it from my arms down to my feet and I fell to the ground and cried. I wasn't hurt, my grandfather didn't push me down (as funny as that thought is to me)... it was this force I've never felt since. I cried for hours while this numbing feeling was over me. Was it God? I don't know.

My confusion is this: I believe in God, the God of Abraham, the God of Moses, that is in the Bible. I believe in his word and worship him. My confusion is set within the Cross around my neck, the picture of Jesus on my wall. God said not to have false idols, pictures, statues.

Is the Jesus on my walls, since it was made by a man who knew not Jesus's real face, is that not a false picture? Is the cross around my neck just a symbol of man and not of God himself. He said to have faith in him, to worship no other. I hear churches say, "lets pray to Jesus" yet I can't. Why would I pray to Jesus when God is above Jesus. I would need to pray to The God himself, no?

Perhaps you can see my confusion. Perhaps no one will reply to this thread and I just spent a few minutes of my life typing while hearing the words in my head. Either way, I got out my feelings to the masses and perhaps, someone has a similar feeling or an opinion of their own to share.

"There is no man over me, only God above me." - Myself

[MysticSang'ha]

Welcome to the forums, Demmiah!

There are a lot of discussions that focus on separating the confusion from inner clarity when it comes to religious symbolism. I have a hunch that you might benefit from exploring that further.

Happy contemplating!!

[Charity]

Welcome......I have no doubt that what you felt in that prayer was God. I believe that you in all reality do not agree with the pictues of images of God since no man knows what he looks like....I would toss those things out. The only image of God is the personal image in your own mind....you alone have the concept of what you believe to be God......Confusion is not of God, seek the Lord and all things will be revealed to you.........

[Ringer]

Originally Posted by Demmiah

Why would I pray to Jesus when God is above Jesus. I would need to pray to The God himself, no?

The Bible says that nobody comes to the Father, that is, God the Father, but through Jesus. I suppose you can think of Jesus as the mediator. This is typically why at the end of prayers you will hear some say, "In Christ's name..." or "In Jesus' name we pray". Hope that helps. Welcome to the forums!

[Demmiah]

Thanks for the replies. I guess now its a matter of whether these questions are merely doubt or if the questions are simply the answer.

[NUGA]

Why dont you start learning islam?

[Demmiah]

No thanks.

My questions were answered. Thanks.

[whereismynotecard]

Originally Posted by Demmiah

No thanks.

My questions were answered. Thanks.

Does that mean that you aren't going to be staying with us on the forums??

[.lava]

Originally Posted by Demmiah

Hi. I'm new here and needed advice from others badly.

Quick info: I'm a "retired" 32 year old bartender... loved the night life. Loved it. Women everywhere, my goodness. Musician who has played the stage and enjoyed the limelight. Great stuff. However, I have since brought the music inside my apartment and the bar life, well, it's no more.

I come from a rather religious family. I was raised in church and at the age of 10, when standing in front of the congregation at church to get saved(but only to get the attention of the little girls), the preacher(my grandfather) along with several other members laid their hands on my head, my arms reached towards the ceiling (because that's what everyone else was doing). They said, "close your eyes and pray with us." So I did. And I closed my eyes and started repeating the words and then I broke from that and started praying my own prayer (for my childhood was a difficult one and one that is best kept to myself).

Once I did, this overwhelming force hit me so hard, I felt it from my arms down to my feet and I fell to the ground and cried. I wasn't hurt, my grandfather didn't push me down (as funny as that thought is to me)... it was this force I've never felt since. I cried for hours while this numbing feeling was over me. Was it God? I don't know.

My confusion is this: I believe in God, the God of Abraham, the God of Moses, that is in the Bible. I believe in his word and worship him. My confusion is set within the Cross around my neck, the picture of Jesus on my wall. God said not to have false idols, pictures, statues.

Is the Jesus on my walls, since it was made by a man who knew not Jesus's real face, is that not a false picture? Is the cross around my neck just a symbol of man and not of God himself. He said to have faith in him, to worship no other. I hear churches say, "lets pray to Jesus" yet I can't. Why would I pray to Jesus when God is above Jesus. I would need to pray to The God himself, no?

Perhaps you can see my confusion. Perhaps no one will reply to this thread and I just spent a few minutes of my life typing while hearing the words in my head. Either way, I got out my feelings to the masses and perhaps, someone has a similar feeling or an opinion of their own to share.

"There is no man over me, only God above me." - Myself

hi welcome
IMO things you're saying are perfectly reasonable. however i am not Christian but i do believe in one God and i certainly do not pray to Mohammad(PBUH), i pray to God only. that would be great to have photograph of Jesus (PBUH) but we don't have it. according to my knowledge, it is not wrong ot have photographs unless you're lighting candles and asking for stuff if drawings of Prophets were not welcomed in Islam it is because they don't really look like real faces of Prophets. but if camera was invented back then, having real photos would be wrong. well, so far i can say my dear friend



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[Demmiah]

Originally Posted by whereismynotecard

Does that mean that you aren't going to be staying with us on the forums??

Im around for all the wonderful literature

And yes, I'm am still at war within myself as I would think most people who want to know are. However, where some find that inner peace and acceptance, I simply cannot yet.