Deperately in need of advice (suicide, pray, Christian, Christ)

[skeeterboots]

i sure wouldn't dismiss it as "just something kids do." yes, he did get home in one piece, however that doesn't mean that next time he won't. you should be extremely disturbed by this behavior and stay in tune with everything he is doing at this age. it is a shame that he has been exposed to the spiritually decomposing filth, pray that the angels will watch over him and guard him from these kinds of demons-because yes-it is a spiritual world and yes-demons are alive and prowling over the earth-and if they can capture your childs soul-they will. i think you should rent "the exorcist" and maybe find some Catholic material or websites explaining that exorcisms do take place often and satan DOES exist-regardless of what the world tells you now-a-days. maybe then he will do his best to stay away from such evil. after all-blasphemy is an unforgivable sin. look it up in the bible with him.

[hanessah]

Your children are not your children
They come through you but are not from you
You may give them your love but not your thoughts for they love their own thoughts
you may house their bodies but not their souls. Their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow which you cannot visit not even in your dreams.
You are the bow from which your children as arrows are sent forth
let your bending in the Archers hand be for gladness
for even as he loves the arrow that flies
so he loves also the bow that is stable Kahlil Gibran
Mom be flexible raise them with love and understanding and mostly faith in prayer and the gracious God above when he sees this in you he will change his way to be like you
We all learn from our mistakes big or small it's a learning thing It's hard to accept our childrens mistakes but we must let them make them for their own growth This is life as unfair as it is

[Katzpur]

Hi, Maryanne.

First off, I just want to tell you that I sympathize with you more than you can possibly realize. Both of my kids are grown now (25 and 22), but when the oldest was 15-18, he made some decisions that just about killed me. I won't go into the details, but I will tell you that he turned out just fine. I think you just need to keep the lines of communication open to the best of your ability (which it sounds like you're doing). Let him know exactly how you feel and hold your ground, but try not to get hysterical on him, if you know what I mean. Continue to let him know that certain things are not acceptable in your household, but that your love for him is unconditional. Good luck. Be optimistic. Kids love to shock their parents. If you've taught him right from wrong, he'll come around in time.

Kathryn

[michel]

Like netDoc, I had my older son try to shock us; he was an atheist, he refused to vote, he was totally without any common sense about money (That was when he was seventeen).


Now he's still an Atheist (Good luck to him, if that's what he wants), he has become intensly interested in politics ( he is very a very moral person)....money, well, we don't talk about that; every time he gets in touch, I get out my cheque book..............

He's a great chap; he just needs a good woman behind him, as did his father.

[Melody]

My .02. If my 13 year old spent the night at a friend's house, went out to a local bar (doesn't matter that the bar was fenced off) and returned home with the items your son did, we would have a serious chat. Yes, this too shall pass...but not without a little chat and something to remember the lesson by.

Bottom line, he's 13 years old and had no business in a bar and certainly not without asking permission first. Unless he's totally clueless (and I doubt he is), he knew this and did it anyway. My response would be to put an end to the sleepovers for awhile and let him know that it is because (a) he can't be trusted...assuming he did it as an act of rebellion or (b) he's demonstrated that he is still not mature enough to be given that much freedom.

I most certainly would have thrown out the CD and t-shirt and explained to him that neither vulgar profanity or blasphemy were permitted in the house.

A few years back we discovered that our 14 year old son had been cruising the porn sites on the internet. Up to that time we had trusted our boys because they had given no indication that they couldn't be trusted. Our response was to sit him down and explain that while we understood his curiosity, he knew the rules and had broken them. We either had to assume he deliberately disobeyed us...or was too immature yet to be given the level of freedom we had given him. In either case, he was not permitted on the internet for one year unless he had someone sitting with him.

Not only was this problem corrected, but he learned that trust is a very delicate thing and has taken care not to break the trust since.

[almifkhar]

mannesmith, i too have a 13 year old son and he would not dare go to a bar cause he knows he would feel my wrath. my question to you is why are you more concerned about his choice of music rather than the real issue. he
1. lied to you
2. went to a bar
3. actually had the nerve to think he could get away with it.
now these are the things i would have been more upset with. in parenting you always have to be honest with your kids reguardless what the subject is. you always have to instil in them what it is you will and will not tolerate out of them. and you always have to talk with them in a realistic way. this is my little secret and it has payed off so far. my boy is not sexually active, he is not into drugs, or gangs, he does not provoke a fight and i live in the mean streets of detroit. how do i know this, we have a good repor and he knows i am always 2 steps ahead of him. he also knows that a crimanals and drug addits cannot live in my house, and if he gets a girl pregnant he is well aware of the fact that while he is under my roof, he WILL take responsibleity for his actions in the form of working and visitation and all that it takes to be a dad.
now on to his choice of music
why don't you sit down with him and figure out what is the appeal of this music. explain how you feel but don't push your beliefs off on him cause perhaps he does not feel the same way you do religiously speaking. if you don't want him to wear the shirt, let him know and inforce it. but as far as the music thing goes, he is going to listen to what ever he wants to reguardless of what you think. if you are not open, honest and realistic with him he will rebel and you don't want that.