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  #1  
Old 05-27-2009, 11:17 PM
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Default For Christians: Frustrated...sexually

My wife and I are both in our 40's. I've noticed that over the last 2 years her desire for sex has significantly decreased while mine has remained the same, if not increased. Our "normal" used to be 2 to 3 times a week. Now its down to 2 to 3 times a month. The issue has began causing arguments. Because I love my wife, I have no desire to look else where, and because of religious reasons, masturbation is also not an option. I've tried to talk to her about it, and she refuses, just saying nothing is wrong. The world would say to have an affair, leave her, or take things into my own "hands". These aren't options, but to satisfy my beliefs do I need to be so miserable? What do I do?
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  #2  
Old 05-28-2009, 11:27 AM
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First, masturbation is against Mormon doctrine because it's giving into the desires of man. Second, I have tried the romantic dinners, favorite restaurants, roses, jewelry...etc. We have tried to talk, but end up stopping before it causes too much of an argument. She has reluctantly given in and provide release by hand, but then I feel guilty so whats the point.
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  #3  
Old 05-28-2009, 11:50 AM
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Originally Posted by MormonDadTX View Post
First, masturbation is against Mormon doctrine because it's giving into the desires of man. Second, I have tried the romantic dinners, favorite restaurants, roses, jewelry...etc. We have tried to talk, but end up stopping before it causes too much of an argument. She has reluctantly given in and provide release by hand, but then I feel guilty so whats the point.
Cant believe I am even discussing this topic, but why is it OK for your wife to "give you relief" but not yourself?

(by the way I dont want an answer to that...it was just a question for you personally to consider)
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  #4  
Old 05-28-2009, 11:54 AM
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Originally Posted by MormonDadTX View Post
My wife and I are both in our 40's. I've noticed that over the last 2 years her desire for sex has significantly decreased while mine has remained the same, if not increased. Our "normal" used to be 2 to 3 times a week. Now its down to 2 to 3 times a month. The issue has began causing arguments. Because I love my wife, I have no desire to look else where, and because of religious reasons, masturbation is also not an option. I've tried to talk to her about it, and she refuses, just saying nothing is wrong. The world would say to have an affair, leave her, or take things into my own "hands". These aren't options, but to satisfy my beliefs do I need to be so miserable? What do I do?
She won't even lend you her HAND?
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  #5  
Old 05-28-2009, 12:21 PM
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Enjoy the the two three times a month is what I say.

If your desire is to be with your wife(sexually) why would you even compare having sex with her to masturbation or finding another woman to have an "affair" with?

And I'll tell you another thing.."arguing" with her about it wont help.Even if you got "more" sex from your wife as a result..Do you want to have sex with your wife because your argued her into it?

How would that be sir?..What is sex for you anyway?

Do you call that "intamacy"?

Or are you just looking for a sexual release?Im not saying you dont "love" your wife..but dont claim "lovign her is " having sex with her when the only reason you dont masturbate or have sex with another woman is because of your religious beliefs but those are alternatives in your mind to "replace her" you just arent permitted.

Love

Dallas

Last edited by DallasApple; 05-28-2009 at 12:38 PM..
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  #6  
Old 05-28-2009, 12:28 PM
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She won't even lend you her HAND?
Im sorry that is sick.

And believe it or not if you are going to go through that much trouble its easier to just "lend" somethign else out..Its a lot "quicker".

If you're not in the "mood" you're not in the mood.And that includes anything sexual.Hand "work" is sexual and requires sexual effort.

Love

Dallas
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  #7  
Old 05-28-2009, 12:31 PM
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Im sorry, but I am going to have to ask this....is this a genuine issue? or have you just made it up? I dont mean to be horrible or anything, my instinct is just telling me that something is not quite right and my instincts are usually pretty accurate!

Sorry if this is a genuine problem....
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  #8  
Old 05-28-2009, 12:34 PM
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Im sorry, but I am going to have to ask this....is this a genuine issue? or have you just made it up? I dont mean to be horrible or anything, my instinct is just telling me that something is not quite right and my instincts are usually pretty accurate!

Sorry if this is a genuine problem....
Its probably real..It happens all the time.It doesnt ring "not true" to me.Its sexual desire and libido differences.

"typically" its the man "wanting" more sex..But it can be the reverse..with a woman wanting it more and the man just not interested..

But 2-3 times a month is not starvation.

Love

Dallas
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  #9  
Old 05-28-2009, 12:45 PM
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Oh..and my big mouth goes on..

I cant argue with you over your beliefs..But if occasionally "relieving" your self through masturbation keeps you from "arguing" with your wife and takes care of your higher "physical" needs I dont see how thats a bad thing.

I have searched and searched..There is NOTHING in the Bible that prohibits or says masturbation is wrong.

Actually it never even adresses it from what I know.

Love

Dallas
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  #10  
Old 05-28-2009, 12:49 PM
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I guess its just because its a very sensitive topic to have as your first post on a forum you dont know.....

But anyway, if your OK with your wife doing it, then there is nothing wrong with you doing it, its your body!

And think of it this way...if your wife doesnt want sex...its then not "making love" with your wife but "giving into mans desires" which you want to avoid....

I am not an expert on the subject, but from speaking with some very open friends of my mothers...at that age a few times a month is the norm....
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