Advice Please!!! (Jesus, moral, beliefs, followers, attending)

[curiosity]

Hiya! New here! Hope you can help me!

I have some questions and concerns to address with you. A friend of mine has recently joined this church and has become a totally different person (and in my opinion not for the better either). She now thinks that if she prays hard enough her bills will be paid (she doesn’t work) and with 3 children to look after I often worry how she must cope. Now I didn’t realise this is possible as I would have been praying hard for a lottery win or at least for my mortgage payments to be easier!

Also at this church she says they speak in tongues – I did not know what this was and she explained it is where Jesus talks through them. Apparently it is a totally indecipherable gobbledegook. Now, I thought that if Jesus had a message to get through to a congregation it would be important that he made himself understood – perhaps by talking in English?? Or at least if it was Jesus I believe his first language was something like Hebrew, and with the absence of European travel in those days I don’t think they learnt many languages in school! Also, she says that people collapse in the church due to the presence of Jesus. Now I am not a medical professional but this does not sound entirely normal.

Call me a cynic, but I think this church is a load of rubbish. They encourage large “donations” and seem to prey on vulnerable & impressionable people, and I am not sure that they are entirely truthful in their practices.

My second concern is tolerance. I thought that Christianity was all about tolerance and now she is positively hostile to gay people, even people who are going through a divorce (as that is abhorred in this church.) No one wants to be divorced so I hate her attitude, people sometimes have marriage breakdown through no fault of their own, and who is she to judge?

This church (and some of the followers I have met) deem themselves to be judge and jury and wield the bible for the use of intolerance and their own means, when I thought it was about forgiveness of sins (otherwise why would there be chaplains on death row?). I have a strong trepidation with regards to any kind of extremism and this place seems to be hard-line, even encouraging members to not associate with people that doesn’t have Jesus in their lives. (I guess, in their opinion, even though I consider myself Christian I do not have Jesus in my life.)

I was seriously considering taking my faith more seriously and joining a proper church but I have to say the levels of abuse of what I considered to be a pure and simple religion astounded me.

What do you think? Is this right or not? I am very worried about my friend as it is taking over her whole life and is alienating people from her.

[XAAX]

Originally Posted by curiosity

What do you think? Is this right or not? I am very worried about my friend as it is taking over her whole life and is alienating people from her.

No this is not right. Many churches practice the same brainwashing techniques though. Out of curiosity, what denomination is the church she is attending??

[curiosity]

I don't know what denomination it is, I didn't know about churches like this, I liken it more to a sect??!

Really don't know. The only type I would call it is extreme really!

[Fluffy]

Heya curiosity,

Firstly, the subforum which you have posted this thread in is specifically for discussion about Christianity and no hostile comments towards that religion are allowed (even if, I think, they are only aimed at a specific church). If you wish to have a more open discussion then you might get more responses in the general discussion forum.

I, myself am not a Christian but perhaps I can give you some information which might help you and your friend.

You mentioned that your friend was praying for seemingly unrealistic ends. There are many ways in which Christians use prayer and the way your friend is using it is normally referred to as a direct petition to God. Now obviously there are many diverse opinions in Christianity but many will agree that this is not like a genie's lantern. Often the petition will take the form of asking God to help the worshipper solve the problem rather than asking God to solve the problem directly. The reasoning behind this is that God has given us free will and so likely wishes for us to do well for ourselves rather than use him as a crutch. Maybe you could suggest to your friend that she ask God to give her the strength she needs to go out and make ends meet on her own?

You then mention the practice of speaking in tongues. The formal name for this is glossolalia and is mentioned numerous times in the New Testament and has been practiced throughout Christian history although it has experienced a recent upsurge in popularity. Its biblical basis is open to dispute but, nevertheless, it is not an uncommon event. It is usually viewed as a gift directly from the Holy Spirit (rather than Jesus). What is actually being spoken has been either attributed to a foreign language (known as xenoglossia) or a heavenly language of some sort. Now admittedly for those who have not experienced glossolalia, the impression can be quite disturbing. However, those who do experience it do not seem to be harmed by their experience and they usually describe the sensation as positive.

If you are concerned about the practices of a specific church then it might be an idea to find out which denomination the church belongs. You might be able to write to a central authority and raise your concerns or educate your friend on any documented instances of misconduct.

It is very difficult to reconcile differences in morality between friends. I, myself, have experienced considerable turmoil over some of the issues you have mentioned. Unfortunately, there is no way to force another person to change the way they feel and even if there were, to do so would be to become that which you currently find disturbing (ie intolerant). I can only suggest that perhaps by leading by example and pointing to Christian examples of such conduct you might be able to show her your point of view. Anything further than that will likely be percieved as an attack, I am afraid, especially if the behaviour you describe is truly intolerant.

I do hope that your friend comes round and remembers your friendship and that her faith proves to have a positive impact on her life.

[FatMan]

Can I ask where the religion is based??

[curiosity]

it is based in south wales, uk.

I am very open to all beliefs of everyone by the way (response to other posts not yours!!)- I am not promoting intolerance of anyones beleifs, I just found this a little strange, but maybe it is out of my sphere of knowledge and understanding. (which is the sole reason I posted on here.)