Interestid in buddhisum (moral, Buddhism, attend, experience, pagan)

[WARTORIOUS]

<I would really appreciate it if you would take the time to read, got myself in a mess>

Hey there, I have always been interested in Buddhism even though I know little about it. I have tried meditation a few times with positive effects, and I believed I once reached a state of enlightenment that let me see existence in a new way. I don’t know of any Buddhists around this area in England, so I’m going to read these forums more often. I have heard of some Buddhists who can do incredible things like make freezing water that would kill most people steam and I have heard of other incredible feats. I don’t really believe in a god nor do I follow any particular religion although I would probably be closest to pagan.

I have always been slightly strange mentally, and I have been called a genius as well as an idiot many times and I seem to have a strange way at looking at the world.

What I would like to know really is, well I think I will die and be forgotten, so I used to see fame as being my only way to immorality as it were, however that belief has been shattered not too long ago. Life seems pointless and I have lost my direction. I have been doing 5 A levels however recently I have been going less and I think I’m a bit depressed. My life’s falling apart, were chose to financial ruin, my sisters been accused of a serious crime she didn’t commit, and because of this has screwed up her GCSE’s, my mother moved to the other side of the country and my fathers incredibly stressed and depressed. As for me in doing badly academically partly due to bad attendance, I’m suffering from bad anxiety about life somewhat. A month ago or so I went on an extremely long cycle ride, that ended up with me cycling by the side of a busy motorway at 12PM at night, I had to get off and walk, I had been cycling solidly from 2PM and I truly believed I was going to die. I ended up calling my dad who came an got me, I’m not sure but I think that may have caused my anxiety.

I’m in a mess, and I’m depressed to. Another factor that doesn’t help is I have a boy friend, in a long distance relationship I do miss my mum, get to see her twice a month im im lucky and sh's gettimg marryed very soon. I’m generally quite shy believe it or not, so this causes a few problems. and I have not told anybody I don’t fine women so attractive. It’s not a problem but really personally however I have nobody to talk to, my social life is very limited with few friends, I’m very self conscious about my body to the point of paranoia. Because I have not been to college for a short time in scared what the teachers will think, I don’t understand it myself really why. I’m just in a state, would love some help or advice

[bigvindaloo]

What were the positive effects you describe? What form of meditation were you practicing?

[WARTORIOUS]

Originally Posted by bigvindaloo

What were the positive effects you describe? What form of meditation were you practicing?

well like I said, I did achieve that state of enlightenment where I saw the unnerves in multiple layers for the first time, realised that there are different layers in existence, unbelievably heavy layer where time is far far slower where gravity is stronger than the inside of a back hole, infect this layer causes all gravity, however this huge force is translated through space time to become a small force in out layer of existence. when things are too heavy they get sucked down to the heaver layer by gravity creating a black hole. All of existence was once like a load of shaken up chemicals in a jam jar, the heaver stuff settled on a heaver layer, we float on top of it, there’s layers where signals where radio exist. Incredibly fast light layers where time is faster.

I can enplane in more detail if you wish but all of time and existence is a cycle, will repeat its self. the unnerves is beautifully balanced and everything’s connected.

I hope to shear this idea before I die, I once heard a scientist saying someone will soon make an idea like this,

The experience itself made my mind go faster than its ever gone, I felt like I knew whatever I wanted to know, made me feel like laughing and smiling.

Sorry if I haven’t explained this very well, I have always been extremely bad at explaining things, furthermore meditation allows me to experience things I have never experienced before, normally have visions and ideas I have never considered before. It’s a relaxing experience, normally just lay in complete silence without moving any muscle or eyes at all, my body seems to almost turn off .

[bigvindaloo]

Originally Posted by WARTORIOUS

well like I said, I did achieve that state of enlightenment where I saw the unnerves in multiple layers for the first time, realised that there are different layers in existence, unbelievably heavy layer where time is far far slower where gravity is stronger than the inside of a back hole, infect this layer causes all gravity, however this huge force is translated through space time to become a small force in out layer of existence. when things are too heavy they get sucked down to the heaver layer by gravity creating a black hole. All of existence was once like a load of shaken up chemicals in a jam jar, the heaver stuff settled on a heaver layer, we float on top of it, there’s layers where signals where radio exist. Incredibly fast light layers where time is faster.

I can enplane in more detail if you wish but all of time and existence is a cycle, will repeat its self. the unnerves is beautifully balanced and everything’s connected.

I hope to shear this idea before I die, I once heard a scientist saying someone will soon make an idea like this,

The experience itself made my mind go faster than its ever gone, I felt like I knew whatever I wanted to know, made me feel like laughing and smiling.

Sorry if I haven’t explained this very well, I have always been extremely bad at explaining things, furthermore meditation allows me to experience things I have never experienced before, normally have visions and ideas I have never considered before. It’s a relaxing experience, normally just lay in complete silence without moving any muscle or eyes at all, my body seems to almost turn off .

It is not necessary to explain your experience. It makes no sense to me anyhow. All such things are difficult to translate into words.

I suggest you try joining a group of meditators. It can be reinforcing to meditate in company. Also you might have the opportunity to talk about the issues facing you with others. Just remember the central teaching of Buddhism to answer the OP is that all things are temporary, change is inevitable. Normally we know this in hindsight. But it is true of anything we experience in life.