life lessions learned from Buddhism (hell, experience, philosophy, religions)

[Peacefulnrss]

hello
I have never started a post before so i thought I would start one now... I thought it might be interesting to hear from people who have been studying Buddhism about any life lessions they have learned. I am interested in hearing peoples different takes on the teachings.
Mark

[Engyo]

Hmmmmmm;

I think the biggest single thing I have learned from Buddhism is that my life is my responsibility. TOTALLY my responsibility. By this I mean that whatever is going wrong in my life is MY problem, and MY job to fix. If I am unhappy with my career/work, or my relationship(s), only I can change those situations. I cannot blame any marital dissatisfaction on my wife; she is NOT responsible for my happiness. I am also not responsible for hers. I am the one who needs to change; when I do, things get better. The trick is having the understanding/wisdom to know what to change, and when.

Along with this goes the issue of relations with others. I can trust anyone. I can do this with confidence as long as I trust them to be EXACTLY AS THEY ARE, and not as I think they should be, or as I wish they might be, or whatever other illusion I have going. I can trust someone with kleptomaniac tendencies to steal things. If I trust them to NOT steal things, I will be very disappointed. Yes, people can change for the better. When they do, I can begin to trust they will continue to do so.

The other big thing, I believe, is to embrace change. Change is everywhere; nothing is fixed or permanent. When your life stops changing, you are dead. So, embrace change! You can't stop it, so you might as well use it in your favor!

Enough rambling for one post........

[cfer]

Originally Posted by Engyo

Hmmmmmm;

I think the biggest single thing I have learned from Buddhism is that my life is my responsibility. TOTALLY my responsibility. By this I mean that whatever is going wrong in my life is MY problem, and MY job to fix. If I am unhappy with my career/work, or my relationship(s), only I can change those situations. I cannot blame any marital dissatisfaction on my wife; she is NOT responsible for my happiness. I am also not responsible for hers. I am the one who needs to change; when I do, things get better. The trick is having the understanding/wisdom to know what to change, and when.

Along with this goes the issue of relations with others. I can trust anyone. I can do this with confidence as long as I trust them to be EXACTLY AS THEY ARE, and not as I think they should be, or as I wish they might be, or whatever other illusion I have going. I can trust someone with kleptomaniac tendencies to steal things. If I trust them to NOT steal things, I will be very disappointed. Yes, people can change for the better. When they do, I can begin to trust they will continue to do so.

The other big thing, I believe, is to embrace change. Change is everywhere; nothing is fixed or permanent. When your life stops changing, you are dead. So, embrace change! You can't stop it, so you might as well use it in your favor!

I may be wrong, but isn't all that a taoist philosophy? Please don't get me wrong, those life lessons are awesome and one would be very wise to follow them. I guess I was just wondering how those ideals differ between Buddhism and Taoism.

[michel]

Originally Posted by Engyo

Hmmmmmm;

I think the biggest single thing I have learned from Buddhism is that my life is my responsibility. TOTALLY my responsibility. By this I mean that whatever is going wrong in my life is MY problem, and MY job to fix. If I am unhappy with my career/work, or my relationship(s), only I can change those situations. I cannot blame any marital dissatisfaction on my wife; she is NOT responsible for my happiness. I am also not responsible for hers. I am the one who needs to change; when I do, things get better. The trick is having the understanding/wisdom to know what to change, and when.

Along with this goes the issue of relations with others. I can trust anyone. I can do this with confidence as long as I trust them to be EXACTLY AS THEY ARE, and not as I think they should be, or as I wish they might be, or whatever other illusion I have going. I can trust someone with kleptomaniac tendencies to steal things. If I trust them to NOT steal things, I will be very disappointed. Yes, people can change for the better. When they do, I can begin to trust they will continue to do so.

The other big thing, I believe, is to embrace change. Change is everywhere; nothing is fixed or permanent. When your life stops changing, you are dead. So, embrace change! You can't stop it, so you might as well use it in your favor!

Enough rambling for one post........

I agree with you, I would add the ability to 'let go' (harder to do than it sounds) and the importance of Mindfulness.

[Engyo]

cfer -

I would submit that life lessons and ideals are possibly two different things, at least in the way I would tend to use those terms. If the original thread had been "What are your Buddhist ideals?", my post in response would have been very different. If Taoism teaches similar things to what I have gleaned as life lessons from Buddhism, then that isn't a bad thing at all, but I don't think it makes me Taoist. I remain a Buddhist........

[lilithu]

Originally Posted by cfer

I may be wrong, but isn't all that a taoist philosophy? Please don't get me wrong, those life lessons are awesome and one would be very wise to follow them. I guess I was just wondering how those ideals differ between Buddhism and Taoism.

There is a lot of overlap between Taoism and Buddhism. Both teach impermanence and interdependency. And the result of accepting impermanence and interdependancy is the learning of non-attachment. But there are also major differences between the two religions. I am not familiar enough to point out how they differ in these specific ideals. I suspect that it's a matter of emphasis. Good question tho! A good topic for another thread.

[lilithu]

Originally Posted by Peacefulnrss

hello
I have never started a post before so i thought I would start one now... I thought it might be interesting to hear from people who have been studying Buddhism about any life lessions they have learned. I am interested in hearing peoples different takes on the teachings.
Mark

What have I learned from Buddhism?.... hmmm.... many things. Too many to list, but I will share some lessons that have been foremost in my mind recently.

1) The idea of interdependency, not just as in intellectual concept but with real consequences for how I understand compassion. The lesson that comes to mind is this:
If somebody hit you with a stick, you would not get angry at the stick, would you? You would realize that it was not really the stick that hit you but the person holding the stick. But taking it further, if somebody hit you with a stick, you would not get angry at the person.
Why? Because you would realize that many events - the person's past experiences, what happened to him that day, his genetic predispositions, your previous relationship with him, and many more more things - all went into the action of him hitting you with a stick. Interdependency means not seeing the person as a 'self' who hurt me, but seeing the person as the confluence of events that led up to the hurt and anger and confusion that led up to that action. Seeing it this way makes it easier to forgive and have compassion. Similarly, I can see the events that lead up to the times when I haven't been all that great a person, see my own hurt and anger and confusion and have compassion for myself. That doesn't mean that we forgive the hurtful action, but we have compassion for others and ourselves.

2) The three poisons or roots:
As long as you have the three poisons or roots within you - hatred, greed, and delusion, they will find a target upon which to focus. If there is no other target available, they will turn on yourself.
I have noticed that when I am in a good mood, other people's "eccentricities" not only do not bother me but I find them endearing. However, when I am in a bad mood, these very same "eccentricities" can be unbearably annoying. Rationally I know that the other people have not changed; they're doing the same thing that they always do. But the way that I relate to them changes depending on the amount of the three poisons I have in me at the moment. Knowing that, I can stop reacting badly to the people, which only feeds the poisons in both of us, and I can mindfully identify the poison and "turn it down" like the flame on a stove. I don't know how to extinguish them, which is the ultimate goal, but I can often turn them down, refuse to feed them, keep them as a pilot light and not a raging fire. Similarly, I sometimes catch myself beating myself up. It's because there are no other targets around at the moment for these poisons to work on. Noticing that, I can again identify the poison and "turn it down."

As I said, there have been many lessons and I am still learning, but I'll stop here.

[Doc]

One of the more important lessons I have learned from Buddhism, is the ability to question things. Not just accept something because a book, a friend, a priest, a rabbi, a wise person, or leader says so. I take everything I am told (and things I tell myself) and analyze it carefully now. I take a step back to see if whatever the thing is if it works for me or not or seems logical.

I have also taken up meditating in nature as much as I can during the week. This has relaxed my senses and my mind and I have performed better in different activities whether they be musical or academic. I have gained a deeper appreciation for simple things like trees and flowers through calm breathing and relaxing.

I have also opened up a little bit more socially. I have been laughing a lot more lately too because I do not fear the consequences of rejection like I used to.

Some of the meditation I even use for private inner problems. Examining a problem calmly and carefully and finding the best solution in which to do so.

Keep in mind I am not a Buddhist (yet), but I have taken its teachings seriously and it has lead me to explore other religions like Taoism and similar religions.

May the Force be With You