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Loss, Pain

The Hammer

The Hammer

[REDACTED]
Premium Member
I'm at a loss. Everything inside of me is crying out for the world to just stop...


For there to be just a little more time, but there's not.


My wife delivered our twin boys in September last year, at 28 wks gestation due to severe pre-eclampsia. This meant my little ones were very underdeveloped. One twin Has recovered and is home. But on Tuesday our other little boy, Alder, after multiple surgeries, and interventions passed away at 5 months 1 week old.

I can't grieve. I want to. Everything hurts, and I want nothing more than to curl up and disappear, but I can't. Because I have a little newborn boy who still needs my care, attention, and love.

I don't want to give it. I don't have anything left to give. I have to though, for him.

He deserves
as much.


"Here money is fleeting
Here friend is fleeting
Here man is fleeting
Here kinsman is fleeting
All the foundation of this world turns to waste!

Middle-Earth!"
 
an anarchist

an anarchist

Your local anarchist.
My deepest sympathies, friend.

I know words do little to parse the pain, but know (and I know you know) you got a community here for you. I don't speak for everyone, but I suspect my words are true.

Don't hesitate to reach out to those who you reach out to.
 
beenherebeforeagain

beenherebeforeagain

Rogue Animist
Premium Member
I am so sorry to hear this! Cherish his memory, and do what you have to do for your other son. The grieving will come on its own, in its own time, and likely in its own way.
 
anna.

anna.

but mostly it's the same
The Hammer said:
I'm at a loss. Everything inside of me is crying out for the world to just stop...


For there to be just a little more time, but there's not.


My wife delivered our twin boys in September last year, at 28 wks gestation due to severe pre-eclampsia. This meant my little ones were very underdeveloped. One twin Has recovered and is home. But on Tuesday our other little boy, Alder, after multiple surgeries, and interventions passed away at 5 months 1 week old.

I can't grieve. I want to. Everything hurts, and I want nothing more than to curl up and disappear, but I can't. Because I have a little newborn boy who still needs my care, attention, and love.

I don't want to give it. I don't have anything left to give. I have to though, for him.

He deserves
as much.


"Here money is fleeting
Here friend is fleeting
Here man is fleeting
Here kinsman is fleeting
All the foundation of this world turns to waste!

Middle-Earth!"
Click to expand...

May his memory be a blessing, dear @The Hammer .

You will grieve in your own way, in your own time. I hope that the nurturing of your family even as you walk together through the shadow of your loss will, in time, help you in your grief.
 
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